April 1, 2011

Friend Friday - Rules of Engagement

Friend Friday
I recently joined the Fashion Beauty Friend Friday group created by Katy over at Modly ChicEvery week Katy puts together a set of questions and on Friday if you want to participate, you answer them on your blog and link back up at Modly Chic. 

1. Guest posts are a good way to gain new exposure. What do you think
is the appropriate way to go about securing a guest spot?
I've only done guest posts when someone asked me or when a blogger friend had asked to line some up and I volunteered. In those types of situations I've felt perfectly comfortable guest posting, so I've done it.
2. Leaving comments is essential to growing your blog. But how can you
leave a comment without coming across as ‘Follow Me. Follow Me!’?
Don't say "follow me"? That said, I think there's a difference between asking someone to follow you, and letting them know you're now following their blog, Twitter, Facebook, etc. I'll let people know that, and I don't mind when people tell me that because you don't always automatically know when someone is following you. Someone mentioning that, or mentioning that to someone I don't find annoying. Flat out asking someone to follow you - annoying. Leave a comment when you have something meaningful to say.
3. We’ve all gotten a mass email at one time or another asking for
blog exposure, a link exchange, etc… But the mass emails don’t work.
How do you make your email stand out from the crowd?
I've never sent a mass e-mail, so I have no idea. I keep a blog roll on my blog, and I think I've told people if I've added them because, again, you don't always know if you're on someone's blog roll and it's a nice thing to find out. If someone tells me I'm on there's, or they're on mine, I don't view that as a reason to do a link exchange. 
4. In interacting with other bloggers where do you draw the line
between seeking support and begging for exposure?
Blogging is reciprocal. If you're constantly asking for people to follow you on a million different sites, or vote for you to win this or that, and you're not giving back nearly as much as you're asking - I have no interest in doing anything for you. I won't be reading your blog, following anything, or spending 5 seconds of my day to click something for you. 
5. What’s one rule of engagement error you made and how have you
remedied that?
When I first started blogging I didn't comment on other blogs enough. Big mistake!

If you're interested in FBFF, go to Modly Chic for more information then e-mail Katy if you want to join the group.


Kayla said...

You were much more blunt than I. I tried to be political and not offend anyone. Cheers to you brave woman.

Ramblings of a Small Town Girl
Fanciful Brainstorm - Tumblr

Sarah said...

I'm jazzed about this week's questions because I want to see how other people feel about the various things Katy brought up. I think you and I are on the same page with a lot of our opinions (so there're at least two of us!) which is good.

I have to admit, even if some bloggers' tactics are annoying, it is interesting to see what still manages to work and what does. I am aiming for long-term integrity, though, so I think that is a different animal entirely.

Just Take a Bow

Laura said...

I am glad to hear that someone else doesn't find it annoying if someone lets you know that they are now following. I know some bloggers get annoyed by that, and I personally don't, and I know I have said it to others, not looking for a follow back always but just wanting them to know they have made a follower out of me because I like their content. I always say it as a compliment.

But yes, the "cute blog! follow me, ill follow you?" comments are annoying and not sincere.

Josie said...

I'm with you, Katie. Follow requests just don't do it for me, although I'll always return comments and I also usually mention if I'm following someone... I think it's just nice to know about new friends!
xo Josie

Miss Caitlin S. said...

Interesting! Loved your answers, the blogging community is funny with all the commenting, etc. I would say my biggest mistake is that when I first started blogging and had no idea how to grow as a blogger, I commented people's blog and always ended it with my URL, now I would never do that. I often see people new to the blogosphere doing it and I think it's funny because I did that too! Honestly, I think if you interact with someone for awhile online, these rules become useless because (at least I) become genuinely interested in the blog and the person, so i don't comment for any other reason beyond the fact that i do enjoy coming and seeing what they have up!

this free bird said...

Okay #4 made me fall down and pee my pants. I love how honest you are and appreciate it so much. I have such guilt when I can't comment back - sometimes I have 80 comments and work a 15 hour day and just can't do it. So when I see my comments cut down in half it makes me realize the only reason some people comment is to get a comment back leading me to believe they don't even give a rip about the content I provide. If I want to follow someone I follow - I comment when I can and value the comments I get, but it does bug me - especially on weeks like this when I am going from sun up til sundown totally stressed out and honest about it to see comments down in half. This whole leaving a comment to get one back thing really pisses me off.

Anyway - that's just me and it's bugging me so there you go.


Mode Plus said...

It seems this is a constant newbie mistake: not commenting enough. I've seen it now on other answers, and yes I was also "guilty" of this in the beginning.

Anika http://www.byanika.com said...

Hi sweetheart, great answers, to the point. I love that. Keeping it real and engaging and supporting other bloggers is key. It does take time to build relationships with fellow bloggers, but it is so meaningful to be a part of such a wonderful community.

Happy Friday!

x Anika

Collette Osuna said...

#4....its a give and take..foh sho:)


I love your honesty. I feel the same way about not minding people telling me that they are following me. I actually like hearing it. It's nice to get to know your followers. I don't appreciate people asking me to follow them. Sometimes I do end up following them if their blog is worth reading though.

Have a great weekend, sweetie! :) xoxo

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

The commenting thing is necessary but sometimes tiring! I do like to learn more about new blogs but "follow me!" is not the way to do it for sure. Like Dawn though I do end up following if I see we have mutual blog buddies or if seems read-worthy!
Off to the weekend!

Chic 'n Cheap Living

Danielle (elleinadspir) said...

It's so true, it's all a balance. Comments are good, but they need to be real (I try, but often I'm lame), I love new followers, but I can't imagine asking or begging for them. Interesting questions. Fun to read your answers on them.
I mean really....I'm just shredding for the new followers ;) yea...I'm kidding.

Yvonne said...

Love the picture you chose for this post!
I really connect with your answer to number 4 - that is totally the way I feel about it. It must be the rebel in me - but those requests make me want to do the opposite of what they want!
Happy Friday!

Fabienne Jach said...

Nice answers and welcome to FBFF! I love "meeting" new participants. Looking forward to reading more on your blog. Blogging IS reciprocal, just like life!
The House in the Clouds

Jen HaHA said...

Great topic from Katy, and great answers from Katie! (Is there an echo?)

I didn't start commenting until three months after I started my blog. In fact, I didn't really visit many other blogs until then. I was very new to blogging and jumped in before I knew how to swim. I just expected friends and family to follow and comment and spread the word. That didn't happen.

Have a great weekend!

Anja said...

thx so much for those answers. Spoken right from my heart as well. Especially points 2 and 4.
It's amazing how much has been discussed about this topic, also in the group! For blogging newbies like myself it is sometimes hard to know what is the right way to approach things, but it seems I am on the right track :)

Valerie said...

I completely agree with your answers. I love your answer to #4. Well said. Have a great weekend, Katie!

modanista junkie said...

The picture is fantastic!!!

I completely agree with this post, and I've read it before. Thanks for sharing and posting this.

Have a lovely weekend.


Fierce Fabulous Fit said...

This is such a hot topic!! Very well spoken! #4 was my favorite answer of yours. And I completelty agree that there's a difference between asking to be followed, and letting someone know you appreciate their content and are following them. I think of that as giving a compliment! :)


Taj Acosta said...

Great advices! I'm always getting comments that say "follow me" makes me wonder sometimes! Happy weekend! xo

la petite coquine said...

I saw Carrie's comment as I scrolled and LOVED it. Don't comment because you want a comment (although that's part of the game); comment because you have something to say! Lately if someone features something I just can't get behind or says something that makes me want to gouge out my eye, I politely click to the next blog...

Isabel said...

i hate the follow me comments. im kind of a a blog bitch and i email people telling them their comment might as well be spam...

Couture Carrie said...

Love this post!
All so true, especially #5!


Megan said...

I love your answers to this! I used to be big into blogging a few years back and had alot of followers, etc...and it actually became stressful because i felt like i wasnt blogging for myself...now that I have restarted my blog, I feel much more at ease and don't care if I skip a few days here or there :-) And I don't like when people ask me to follow them :-) If you write something worth reading, I'm gonna follow :-)

Have a good weekend Katie!~
<3 Megan

Kristin said...

We are on the same page! I'm just into my 3rd month fashion blogging, and I still feel like I'm not commenting enough. I suppose blogging is about improving as you go, and learning these lessons!

Tea For Two said...

Good answers. :) I do think the reciprocity is so important with fashion/style blogging. It's a community and you can't expect encouragement without giving any.

Torrie said...

Perfectly put, and very true.

Like others have commented- especially #4. It's all about tact, and some people just don't have any. Plus, my favorite part is the connections... that's what this "secret" wonder is that we bloggers get to experience that others don't fully get (well, maybe our husbands get it... since they hear us talking about it enough!).

Kavery said...

I wonder if 'Follow Me' requests actually work? I agree with Carrie that though I try and reply to every comment, work and home stuff gets in the way. Wish there were more hours to blog.

Audrey Allure said...

Great answers, I definitely agree with all of them especially for question #2; absolutely annoying when someone just solely says "follow me" or "check out my blog" but it's like why should I if they didn't even take a min to even read mine?

Heather said...

Great tips - especially for a newbie like me! thanks!

LOIS said...

love the shoes in your header!
Love Lois xxx


Kaleido Mind said...

i agree--esp with the "follow me" comments...there's so many comments being copy/pasted, it's becoming a bit like spam:(

Ashleigh said...

#4 made me LOL, it's so true!
Because of my schedule I can't always read blogs each day, but when I finally make it back around I try to catch up on everything I missed (aka scroll past/comment on more than just the latest post) Sometimes it feels like a 'comment for a comment' world but the true fans always reveal themselves :)